Hey there, fellow chaos enthusiasts! 🎉 

Do you have 32 minutes to spare? That’s roughly the time it takes to microwave a burrito, regret life choices, and dive headfirst into my new audiobook, The Accidental Summoner – now available for your earholes! 🎧🔥 

GRAB YOUR EARPHONES (AND A SACRIFICIAL TURNIP) HERE (https://amzn.to/4ldyUlq) 

What’s it about? 

Imagine Terry Pratchett and Michael Scott from The Office accidentally summoned a demon during a team-building exercise. In the sleepy village of Dundlewick, conman Gareth Pendragon (aka “Thaddeus the Thunderous”) tries to scam villagers with pizza-Latin and dollar-store glitter… until he accidentally summons Malphagor – a mid-tier demon who’s way too into LinkedIn and phrases like “synergistic paradigm shifts.” 

Now Gareth’s stuck: 

✔️ Babysitting a demon who’s hell-bent on “optimizing” his life (thanks, HR) 

✔️ Evading Brina, the local skeptic who’s onto his nonsense 

✔️ Politely debating Gary, a goat-turned-libertarian-politician (don’t ask) 

✔️ Surviving unionizing raccoons, a reality-eating entity called the Great Maw, and the Demon Council’s literal audit from hell 

Why listen? 

✅ It’s shorter than your last Zoom meeting – perfect for commutes, laundry avoidance, or hiding from your cat’s judgmental stares. 

✅ Snort-laugh guarantee – featuring corporate jargon-wielding demons, spells that backfire spectacularly, and a villain named Karen (you’re welcome). 

✅ Narrated by someone who definitely didn’t summon a demon to do it (…probably). 

“But wait,” you say, “is this audiobook cursed?” 

Only if you consider relentless giggles and side-eye from strangers on the bus a curse. 

CLICK HERE TO SUMMON THE FUN (AND MALPHAGOR’S RESUMÉ) (https://amzn.to/4ldyUlq) 

P.S. If you don’t listen, Malphagor will passive-aggressively “circle back” via email. You’ve been warned. 📧😈