In His Absence—A Death Story

A heartbeat fractures time. This is the story of Halsey: a boy whose laughter rewrote the meaning of joy, whose four short years defied the shadow of a rare and merciless immune disorder—hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis (HLH). In this unflinchingly honest memoir, a mother’s love collides with the unimaginable: holding her child’s hand for the last time, tracing the arc from radiant first steps to a hospital bed’s whispered goodbye.

This is a love letter to a life that blazed brightly, a reckoning with grief’s labyrinth, and a defiant ode to parenthood’s fragile beauty. For anyone who has loved fiercely, lost tragically, or dared to hope in the gathering dark, this book offers no platitudes—only a hand to hold, a voice that whispers, You are not alone.